I became a Beachbody coach about a week ago. I have been wanting to do it for about two or three months now, but couldn't bring myself to make the commitment. I was scared of what my family would say and how much pressure I would get to "get a real job." And true to form, it is coming on strong. Every day I hear from my parents, why don't you do something real with your life? We will only support you if you have a real job and do it on our terms, if you keep the Beachbody job then plan on paying for your wedding on your own.
Not surprisingly, having dealt with this for many years, I am plagued with waves of intense self-doubt. It is a continuous cycle of feeling inferior, changing to fit the standard, having the standard moved up, and then feeling inferior again. I am not proud to say I've bought into this cycle way too many times. It takes almost nothing now to knock me into waves of inferiority, depression, and intense self-doubt. It has really affected my relationships with other people, even folks who act totally different and supportive of me. I can't receive it because I don't know how to accept it in a healthy and balanced way.
But a funny thing happened....
I began to develop friendships with several of the girls in the Beachbody team, The Fit and the Faithful. I have been blessed with some positive developments in my business, and I am already aiming for Success Starter (that may be the incorrect title) and trying to get Success Club in my first month. I understand it is rare, and I have set a ridiculously high standard for myself. But I am finding that I do have to push myself to succeed. And you know why? Because my whole life everyone has told me that I can't do anything. That I'm disabled, r*****ed (don't use that word, folks!), and I will never accomplish anything. Holding myself to that standard gives me strength in myself, that no one is holding me to that standard, the only person who knows I can do it is ME. I KNOW HOW POWERFUL I AM. I have triumphed over Asperger's, sexual abuse, physical abuse, and domestic violence. And I do it with a smile on my face and a forgiving attitude. :-) If I can handle that, I can handle a few rejections from people who think I'm full of crap. :-)
So, basically I want to say to anyone who has self-doubt (and myself as well) YOU. CAN. DO. IT. Whatever "it" is. It may be a weight loss goal, it may be getting a promotion, it may be something like I am dealing with. You can do it, and you can succeed. I have faith in you, and there is a God who is crazy about you.
So, a funny thing happened. An Aspie with a weak will and waves of self-doubt becomes a powerhouse (but still lovable) and proves her haters wrong. If I can do it, why can't you?