I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of people who read my breakthrough post. Thank you so much, you just made a girl's day!! :-)
On my Facebook page, I lost some likes for my ice cream post and I apologize if I haven't been direct about my veganism. Truth be told, I was eating healthy but not vegan but was too embarrassed to post about it. I guess I was just afraid of the backlash, so I avoided talking about it and just ate as healthy as I could. Unfortunately, I have not been gluten-free either. My gut is rebelling somewhat violently and annoyingly. :-(
I never figured out why I gave myself such low regard. There probably was a deep, meaningful reason in there somewhere, but in the end I just did it because I always have done it. Probably as young as 11 or 12, and continuing on throughout my life. I had some bad habits because of my intense dislike for myself. I couldn't tell you why, it just has always been this way. But today I realized after some reflection (on a drive in a car, as it usually goes) that I had simply had enough.
Generally, I don't have intense revelations that are authentic and meaningful. When I was on higher amounts of medication, I was prone to intense revelations while my natural behavior is more stoic. When I was coming off the meds, I had a huge adjustment in how I viewed myself. I enjoyed taking care of myself and doing my hair, and buying nice things for myself. I briefly flirted with Christianity, though my views are somewhat the same. But then today, I just decided I was tired of damaging my body so much, and I felt a sense of peace about that.
I bought my lunch from PuraVegan, and bought my favorite dish from there. It was very good. I bought $48 worth of groceries that were to be used towards trying to redeem myself. Granted, I'm not sharing with anyone else in my immediate circle right now. I don't want the drama that comes with the flip-flopping. I am just sharing here because it seems like a safe place and not a whole ton of people read this unless it's a deep post.
I feel comfortable about exploring the idea of myself that I created in the past. It's not the same as it has always been, I am not continually chasing pipe dreams and getting hooked on an idea in my head. But I feel a sense of peace that I am a decent person and I don't need to continually punish myself by misusing my body. And I do have to consider also that I am taking innocent animals down with me as well. If anything else, I can save the lives of animals as well.
Well that's about all the goodness I've got in me today. I hope everyone has an awesome day and enjoys the weather!
With metta,
Shelly
On my Facebook page, I lost some likes for my ice cream post and I apologize if I haven't been direct about my veganism. Truth be told, I was eating healthy but not vegan but was too embarrassed to post about it. I guess I was just afraid of the backlash, so I avoided talking about it and just ate as healthy as I could. Unfortunately, I have not been gluten-free either. My gut is rebelling somewhat violently and annoyingly. :-(
I never figured out why I gave myself such low regard. There probably was a deep, meaningful reason in there somewhere, but in the end I just did it because I always have done it. Probably as young as 11 or 12, and continuing on throughout my life. I had some bad habits because of my intense dislike for myself. I couldn't tell you why, it just has always been this way. But today I realized after some reflection (on a drive in a car, as it usually goes) that I had simply had enough.
Generally, I don't have intense revelations that are authentic and meaningful. When I was on higher amounts of medication, I was prone to intense revelations while my natural behavior is more stoic. When I was coming off the meds, I had a huge adjustment in how I viewed myself. I enjoyed taking care of myself and doing my hair, and buying nice things for myself. I briefly flirted with Christianity, though my views are somewhat the same. But then today, I just decided I was tired of damaging my body so much, and I felt a sense of peace about that.
I bought my lunch from PuraVegan, and bought my favorite dish from there. It was very good. I bought $48 worth of groceries that were to be used towards trying to redeem myself. Granted, I'm not sharing with anyone else in my immediate circle right now. I don't want the drama that comes with the flip-flopping. I am just sharing here because it seems like a safe place and not a whole ton of people read this unless it's a deep post.
I feel comfortable about exploring the idea of myself that I created in the past. It's not the same as it has always been, I am not continually chasing pipe dreams and getting hooked on an idea in my head. But I feel a sense of peace that I am a decent person and I don't need to continually punish myself by misusing my body. And I do have to consider also that I am taking innocent animals down with me as well. If anything else, I can save the lives of animals as well.
Well that's about all the goodness I've got in me today. I hope everyone has an awesome day and enjoys the weather!
With metta,
Shelly